What I See

In the movie The Sixth Sense, a young boy named Cole Sear can see and talk to the dead.

“I see dead people,” he says to the psychologist he sees.

Cole says the dead walk around like regular people, but they don’t see each other and they don’t know they’re dead. His gift was distressing to him and he often felt isolated because of it. Cole eventually overcomes his fear of the ghosts that visit him and is able to help them find closure.

I see shamed people. I can see and talk to them...they walk around like regular people but they can’t see themselves under the layers of shame that have been draped over them and they don’t know they’re ashamed (and I know this because I spent much of my life unable to see myself and didn’t know I carried shame).

This is my gift.

I am not afraid of it, although sometimes it can be isolating because, well, who wants to examine shame?

Who wants to be around someone who can see this in them?

I have been a student of shame for the past 15 years and it is my mission to educate and destigmatize this debilitating experience in the hope that the more we talk about this most private of emotions (which is paradoxically one of our most universal experiences), we will bring more empathy and compassion to humanity.

Believe it or not, talking about shame can be fun.

And then there’s the closure and the relief that comes with it.

I made the Shame School Community to do this work over the course of a year.

I am hosting two “open houses” via Zoom for anyone who wants to chat with me about it. If you’d like details, comment on this post and I’ll share the details.